with 2 Comments

catherine trainingDuuuuuude……. I have been training my ass off.  Literally.  I have officially entered pancake ass territory, but my legs are still not going faster.  It’s so frustrating.

Long story short, I caught the Sidekick’s man-flu, which was a mild strain of the bubonic plague. I shit you not. After 3 weeks of chest infections, coughing fits and OBVIOUSLY running a race during all of this and being in bed for 4 days, I am back clocking miles again.  As incredibly frustrating as the “down time” has been, it’s been a blessing in disguise.  Shock and horror, I know.  But my body needed it and I needed to gain some much-needed perspective.

I am not an overly competitive person…. Depends on what is at stake (the things I wouldn’t do for wine/chocolate/crispy white dinner rolls/cheese).  But with running, I am incredibly hard on myself.  I will push myself so hard that I forget why I started running.  Amid ripping a portal to hell open on the track running intervals, I forget that running is my sanctuary.  That it is my happy place.  That it’s my escape.  And most definitely not my whip for not being speedy.

catherine.is.runningI am currently training for my 3rd half marathon this year… Well my 3rd in total.

Next month is my 2 year runanniversary.

Do you know when the last time was I ran before then?  Primary school!!!  I am 38.  But I somehow got it into my head that I should be running times and distances like people that have been running for years.  I honestly can’t say if I have much running talent and I don’t feel like I was born to run.  Just like everyone else, I have had to earn my place at the table and fight to keep it.

But running doesn’t care.  It’s like coffee.  It’s a forgiving lover.  You can go onto decaf for 6 months and espresso will take you back like you never left.  Same with running.  The road doesn’t care how fast you run your mile or how many times you stopped.

I felt over the last few months so incredibly despondent with the progress I have made when it comes to my running pace. That I have lost sight of all the other progress I have made.  I set myself up for failure by comparing myself to others.

I will fail if I try and achieve your goals.  I will fall short when I try and run your mile at your pace.  I can’t skip stages 5 to 11 because that is where I want to be.  We must trust the process, and yes, its hell in the hallway. But nothing worth fighting for is cheap or easy, so I can just as well have fun doing it.

be awsomeAnd that is where I am at.  I am back to having fun on my runs.  I am back to stopping the clock to go and take pictures of random birds or to climb a tree.  I am back to laughing at myself dying next to the track and calling it a day early, as I am tried and too old for this shit.  I am back to running with a smile on my face and not checking my pace every 300m to make sure I am pushing myself.

Since then I have had the most amazing runs.  My heart full.  My pace on point.  I am hitting the targets, I missed some, but even then, I was proud of myself for getting it done.

I am never going to be on the podium, unless drinking wine or eating cheese is involved, so I can just as well make the best of it.  And this is not an excuse for me not to dream big or cutting myself slack.  Heck no.  I will run a sub 2 hr half marathon, I will still run a marathon, an Ultra….. who knows I might even do an Ironman.  But I will be doing them on my terms.  And I will be smiling training for them.  More importantly I will get there when I get there.  At my pace and I will be will be grateful for every run.

We all got given the exact same gift. The only thing different is the person using it.

Happy running my friends.

2 Responses

  1. Kate

    I wholeheartedly, completely, totally, absolutely love every bit of this Catherine! I can relate to every single word! You’re a rockstar and one day WE WILL RUN TOGETHER! Smiling of course 🙂

  2. Krista

    Wow. You have put words to the feelings I’ve had many times over my past 15 running years. Thanks for the kick in the pants. No more. No more beating myself up. Why do we do this to ourselves?!?!? Argggg! Thank you you beautiful you!!! ☺️